HARLAN ELLISON'S WATCHING

1989

Everybody’s entitled to his own opinion, right?
W  R  O  N  G  !  !
He or she is entitled to an informed opinion–

So if you don’t like being argued with, if you don’t like a total stranger telling you that your opinion is stupid, and you’re full of crap
D O   N O T   B U Y   T H I S   B O O K !

Underwood-Miller, 1989.
Cover art by Ilene Meyer.

Underwood-Miller, 1990.
Cover photo by Stathis Orphanos.

M Press, 2008.

Contents

  • Foreword by George Kirgo
  • Introduction: Crying “Water!” in a Crowded Theater
  • Darkness in Magic Caverns: a nostalgic appreciation of moviegoing
  • Cinema [1965-68}:
    • The Train
    • Von Ryan’s Express
    • Masquerade
    • Mickey One
    • The War Lord
    • The Battle of the Bulge
    • Juliet of the Spirits
    • You’re a Big Boy Now!
    • Beau Geste
    • Up the Down Staircase
    • Rosemary’s Baby
    • Les Carabiniers
  • Divers Publications
    • Hard Contract
    • Harlan Ellison’s Handy Guide to 2001: A Space Odyssey
    • Joe
    • Silent Running
  • Harlan Ellison: Screening Room [1973]:
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: A Sort of Interview with Peter Boyle
    • 3rd Installment
    • 4th Installment
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [First Series, 1977-78]
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: Luke Skywalker is a Nerd and Darth Vader Sucks Runny Eggs
    • Star Trek — The Motionless Picture
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [Second Series, 1984- ]
    • Installment 1: In Which We Begin Our Journey
    • Installment 2: In Which Sublime And Ridiculous Pass Like Ships In The Night
    • Installment 3: In Which We Scuffle Through The Embers
    • Installment 4: In Which We Discover Why The Children Don’t Look Like Their Parents
    • Installment 5: In Which The Left Hand Giveth Praise And The Right Hand Sprayeth For Worms Of Evil
    • Installment 6: In Which We Learn What Is Worse Than Finding A Worm Of Evil In The Apple
    • Installment 7: In Which an Attempt Is Made To Have One’s Cake And Eat It, Too
    • Installment 8: In Which Some Shrift Is Given Shortly, Some Longly, And The Critic’s Laundry Is Reluctantly Aired
    • Installment 9: In Which The Fortunate Reader Gets To Peek Inside The Fabled Black Tower
    • Installment 10: In Which The Fabled Black Tower Meets Dune With As Much Affection As Godzilla Met Ghidrah
    • Installment 11: In Which Nothing Terribly Profound Occurs
    • Installment 12: In Which Several Things Are Held Up To The Light … Not A Brain In Sight
    • Installment 13: In Which Numerous Ends (Loose) Are Tied Up, Some In The Configuration Of A Noose (Hangman’s)
    • Installment 14: In Which We Sail To The Edge Of The World And Confront The Abyss, Having Run Out Of Steam
    • Installment 14 1/2: In Which The Unheard-of Is Heard, Kind Of
    • Installment 15: In Which A Gourmet Feast Is Prepared Of Words A Mere Two Months Old
    • Installment 16: In Which A Forest Is Analyzed Without Recourse To Any Description Of A Tree
    • Installment 17: In Which We Unflinchingly Look a Gift Horse In The Choppers
    • Installment 18: In Which Youth Goeth Before A Fall
    • Installment 19: In Which We Long For The Stillness Of The Lake, The Smooth Swell Of The Lea
    • Installment 20: In Which Manifestations Of Arrested Adolescence Are Shown To Be Symptoms Of A Noncommunicable Dopiness, Thank Goodness
    • Installment 21: In Which You And A Large Group Of Total Strangers Are Flipped The Finger By The Mad Masters Of Anthropomorphism
    • Installment 22: In Which the Land Echoes To The Sound Of An Ox Of A Different Color Being Gored
    • Installment 23: In Which Premonitions Of The Future Lie In Wait To Swallow Shadows Of The Past
    • Installment 24: In Which Flora and Fauna Come To A Last Minute Rescue, Thereby Preventing The Forlorn From Handing It All Over To The Cockroaches
    • Installment 25: In Which The Specter At The Banquet Takes A Healthy Swig From The Flagon With The Dragon, Or Maybe The Chalice From The Palace
    • Installment 26: In Which A Good Time Was Had By All And An Irrelevant Name-Dropping Of Fritz Leiber Occurs For No Better Reason Than To Remind Him How Much We Love And Admire Him
    • Installment 27: In Which The Fur Is Picked Clean Of Nits, Gnats, Nuts, Naggers And Nuhdzes
    • Installment 28: In Which, With Wiles And Winces, We Waft Words Warranting, To Wit, Wonderful Wit
    • Installment 29: In Which Li’l White Lies Are Revealed To Be At Least Tattletale Gray
    • Installment 30 1/2: In Which 3 Cinematic Variations On “The Whimper of Whipped Dogs” Are Presented
    • Installment 30: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Two) Takes Us By The Snout and Drags Us Unwillingly Toward A Door We Fear To Open
    • Installment 31: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Three) Approaches A Nascent State, Approaches The Dreadful Door, And En Route Questions Meat Idolatry
    • Installment 32: In Which the Switch Is Thrown
    • Installment 33: In Which The Canine of Vacuity Is Wagged by The Far More Interesting Tale Of O’Bannon
    • Installment 34: In Which We Praise Those Whose Pants’re On Fire, Noses Long As A Telephone Wire
  • Appendix A: Twentieth Century-Fox Film Has Science Fiction Theme
  • Appendix B: Nightmare At The Daisy

Hardcover, 514p.
ISBN: 0887330673.
Original cover price:$29.95.

Contents

  • Foreword by George Kirgo
  • Introduction: Crying “Water!” in a Crowded Theater
  • Darkness in Magic Caverns: a nostalgic appreciation of moviegoing
  • Cinema [1965-68}:
    • The Train
    • Von Ryan’s Express
    • Masquerade
    • Mickey One
    • The War Lord
    • The Battle of the Bulge
    • Juliet of the Spirits
    • You’re a Big Boy Now!
    • Beau Geste
    • Up the Down Staircase
    • Rosemary’s Baby
    • Les Carabiniers
  • Divers Publications
    • Hard Contract
    • Harlan Ellison’s Handy Guide to 2001: A Space Odyssey
    • Joe
    • Silent Running
  • Harlan Ellison: Screening Room [1973]:
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: A Sort of Interview with Peter Boyle
    • 3rd Installment
    • 4th Installment
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [First Series, 1977-78]
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: Luke Skywalker is a Nerd and Darth Vader Sucks Runny Eggs
    • Star Trek — The Motionless Picture
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [Second Series, 1984- ]
    • Installment 1: In Which We Begin Our Journey
    • Installment 2: In Which Sublime And Ridiculous Pass Like Ships In The Night
    • Installment 3: In Which We Scuffle Through The Embers
    • Installment 4: In Which We Discover Why The Children Don’t Look Like Their Parents
    • Installment 5: In Which The Left Hand Giveth Praise And The Right Hand Sprayeth For Worms Of Evil
    • Installment 6: In Which We Learn What Is Worse Than Finding A Worm Of Evil In The Apple
    • Installment 7: In Which an Attempt Is Made To Have One’s Cake And Eat It, Too
    • Installment 8: In Which Some Shrift Is Given Shortly, Some Longly, And The Critic’s Laundry Is Reluctantly Aired
    • Installment 9: In Which The Fortunate Reader Gets To Peek Inside The Fabled Black Tower
    • Installment 10: In Which The Fabled Black Tower Meets Dune With As Much Affection As Godzilla Met Ghidrah
    • Installment 11: In Which Nothing Terribly Profound Occurs
    • Installment 12: In Which Several Things Are Held Up To The Light … Not A Brain In Sight
    • Installment 13: In Which Numerous Ends (Loose) Are Tied Up, Some In The Configuration Of A Noose (Hangman’s)
    • Installment 14: In Which We Sail To The Edge Of The World And Confront The Abyss, Having Run Out Of Steam
    • Installment 14 1/2: In Which The Unheard-of Is Heard, Kind Of
    • Installment 15: In Which A Gourmet Feast Is Prepared Of Words A Mere Two Months Old
    • Installment 16: In Which A Forest Is Analyzed Without Recourse To Any Description Of A Tree
    • Installment 17: In Which We Unflinchingly Look a Gift Horse In The Choppers
    • Installment 18: In Which Youth Goeth Before A Fall
    • Installment 19: In Which We Long For The Stillness Of The Lake, The Smooth Swell Of The Lea
    • Installment 20: In Which Manifestations Of Arrested Adolescence Are Shown To Be Symptoms Of A Noncommunicable Dopiness, Thank Goodness
    • Installment 21: In Which You And A Large Group Of Total Strangers Are Flipped The Finger By The Mad Masters Of Anthropomorphism
    • Installment 22: In Which the Land Echoes To The Sound Of An Ox Of A Different Color Being Gored
    • Installment 23: In Which Premonitions Of The Future Lie In Wait To Swallow Shadows Of The Past
    • Installment 24: In Which Flora and Fauna Come To A Last Minute Rescue, Thereby Preventing The Forlorn From Handing It All Over To The Cockroaches
    • Installment 25: In Which The Specter At The Banquet Takes A Healthy Swig From The Flagon With The Dragon, Or Maybe The Chalice From The Palace
    • Installment 26: In Which A Good Time Was Had By All And An Irrelevant Name-Dropping Of Fritz Leiber Occurs For No Better Reason Than To Remind Him How Much We Love And Admire Him
    • Installment 27: In Which The Fur Is Picked Clean Of Nits, Gnats, Nuts, Naggers And Nuhdzes
    • Installment 28: In Which, With Wiles And Winces, We Waft Words Warranting, To Wit, Wonderful Wit
    • Installment 29: In Which Li’l White Lies Are Revealed To Be At Least Tattletale Gray
    • Installment 30 1/2: In Which 3 Cinematic Variations On “The Whimper of Whipped Dogs” Are Presented
    • Installment 30: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Two) Takes Us By The Snout and Drags Us Unwillingly Toward A Door We Fear To Open
    • Installment 31: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Three) Approaches A Nascent State, Approaches The Dreadful Door, And En Route Questions Meat Idolatry
    • Installment 32: In Which the Switch Is Thrown
    • Installment 33: In Which The Canine of Vacuity Is Wagged by The Far More Interesting Tale Of O’Bannon
    • Installment 34: In Which We Praise Those Whose Pants’re On Fire, Noses Long As A Telephone Wire
  • Appendix A: Twentieth Century-Fox Film Has Science Fiction Theme
  • Appendix B: Nightmare At The Daisy

Trade Paperback, 514p.
ISBN: 0887331475.
Original cover price: $17.95.

Contents

  • Preface to the 2007 Edition by Leonard Maltin
  • Foreword by George Kirgo
  • Introduction: Crying “Water!” in a Crowded Theater
  • Darkness in Magic Caverns: a nostalgic appreciation of moviegoing
  • Cinema [1965-68}:
    • The Train
    • Von Ryan’s Express
    • Masquerade
    • Mickey One
    • The War Lord
    • The Battle of the Bulge
    • Juliet of the Spirits
    • You’re a Big Boy Now!
    • Beau Geste
    • Up the Down Staircase
    • Rosemary’s Baby
    • Les Carabiniers
  • Divers Publications
    • Hard Contract
    • Harlan Ellison’s Handy Guide to 2001: A Space Odyssey
    • Joe
    • Silent Running
  • Harlan Ellison: Screening Room [1973]:
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: A Sort of Interview with Peter Boyle
    • 3rd Installment
    • 4th Installment
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [First Series, 1977-78]
    • 1st Installment
    • 2nd Installment: Luke Skywalker is a Nerd and Darth Vader Sucks Runny Eggs
    • Star Trek — The Motionless Picture
  • Harlan Ellison’s Watching [Second Series, 1984- ]
    • Installment 1: In Which We Begin Our Journey
    • Installment 2: In Which Sublime And Ridiculous Pass Like Ships In The Night
    • Installment 3: In Which We Scuffle Through The Embers
    • Installment 4: In Which We Discover Why The Children Don’t Look Like Their Parents
    • Installment 5: In Which The Left Hand Giveth Praise And The Right Hand Sprayeth For Worms Of Evil
    • Installment 6: In Which We Learn What Is Worse Than Finding A Worm Of Evil In The Apple
    • Installment 7: In Which an Attempt Is Made To Have One’s Cake And Eat It, Too
    • Installment 8: In Which Some Shrift Is Given Shortly, Some Longly, And The Critic’s Laundry Is Reluctantly Aired
    • Installment 9: In Which The Fortunate Reader Gets To Peek Inside The Fabled Black Tower
    • Installment 10: In Which The Fabled Black Tower Meets Dune With As Much Affection As Godzilla Met Ghidrah
    • Installment 11: In Which Nothing Terribly Profound Occurs
    • Installment 12: In Which Several Things Are Held Up To The Light … Not A Brain In Sight
    • Installment 13: In Which Numerous Ends (Loose) Are Tied Up, Some In The Configuration Of A Noose (Hangman’s)
    • Installment 14: In Which We Sail To The Edge Of The World And Confront The Abyss, Having Run Out Of Steam
    • Installment 14 1/2: In Which The Unheard-of Is Heard, Kind Of
    • Installment 15: In Which A Gourmet Feast Is Prepared Of Words A Mere Two Months Old
    • Installment 16: In Which A Forest Is Analyzed Without Recourse To Any Description Of A Tree
    • Installment 17: In Which We Unflinchingly Look a Gift Horse In The Choppers
    • Installment 18: In Which Youth Goeth Before A Fall
    • Installment 19: In Which We Long For The Stillness Of The Lake, The Smooth Swell Of The Lea
    • Installment 20: In Which Manifestations Of Arrested Adolescence Are Shown To Be Symptoms Of A Noncommunicable Dopiness, Thank Goodness
    • Installment 21: In Which You And A Large Group Of Total Strangers Are Flipped The Finger By The Mad Masters Of Anthropomorphism
    • Installment 22: In Which the Land Echoes To The Sound Of An Ox Of A Different Color Being Gored
    • Installment 23: In Which Premonitions Of The Future Lie In Wait To Swallow Shadows Of The Past
    • Installment 24: In Which Flora and Fauna Come To A Last Minute Rescue, Thereby Preventing The Forlorn From Handing It All Over To The Cockroaches
    • Installment 25: In Which The Specter At The Banquet Takes A Healthy Swig From The Flagon With The Dragon, Or Maybe The Chalice From The Palace
    • Installment 26: In Which A Good Time Was Had By All And An Irrelevant Name-Dropping Of Fritz Leiber Occurs For No Better Reason Than To Remind Him How Much We Love And Admire Him
    • Installment 27: In Which The Fur Is Picked Clean Of Nits, Gnats, Nuts, Naggers And Nuhdzes
    • Installment 28: In Which, With Wiles And Winces, We Waft Words Warranting, To Wit, Wonderful Wit
    • Installment 29: In Which Li’l White Lies Are Revealed To Be At Least Tattletale Gray
    • Installment 30 1/2: In Which 3 Cinematic Variations On “The Whimper of Whipped Dogs” Are Presented
    • Installment 30: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Two) Takes Us By The Snout and Drags Us Unwillingly Toward A Door We Fear To Open
    • Installment 31: In Which The Li’l White Lies Thesis (Part Three) Approaches A Nascent State, Approaches The Dreadful Door, And En Route Questions Meat Idolatry
    • Installment 32: In Which the Switch Is Thrown
    • Installment 33: In Which The Canine of Vacuity Is Wagged by The Far More Interesting Tale Of O’Bannon
    • Installment 34: In Which We Praise Those Whose Pants’re On Fire, Noses Long As A Telephone Wire
  • Appendix A: Twentieth Century-Fox Film Has Science Fiction Theme
  • Appendix B: Nightmare At The Daisy

Trade Paperback, 465p.
ISBN: 9781595820563.
Original cover price: $12.95