LOVE AIN'T NOTHING BUT SEX MISSPELLED

Stories by Harlan Ellison®

1968

History will surely agree that America’s most destructive contribution to 20th Century living has been that damaged product called plastic romance. It twists and savages us. After a lifetime of lies about what love is supposed to be, are you finally angry and depressed enough to be part of a “recall” on that shabby, mildewed merchandise? If so, join the remarkable Harlan Ellison as he dissects the soul and body of love in Our Time. In scalpel-sharp stories that range from the legalized whorehouses of Nevada to the steaming lynch towns of Georgia, from the abortion mills of Tijuana to the sound stages of Hollywood, the writer whom Oui magazine charmingly named “the perpetually angry young punk of the bizarre” rips the Saran-Wrap off love and hate and sin and twittering passion…to disclose the raw meat beneath.

Trident Press, 1968.
Cover art by
Leo & Diane Dillon.

Harlan Ellison
Uniform Series #11.
Pyramid Books, 1976.
Cover art by
Leo & Diane Dillon.

Ace Books, 1983.
Cover art by
Barclay Shaw.

EDGEWORKS.4.
White Wolf, 1997.
Cover art by
John K. Snyder III.

Contents

  • Preface: Motherhood, Apple Pie & the American Way
  • Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes
  • The Night of Delicate Terrors
  • What I Did on My Vacation This Summer, By Little Bobby Hirschhorn,
  • Age 27
  • Neither Your Jenny nor Mine
  • Final Shtick
  • O Ye of Little Faith
  • Blind Bird, Blind Bird, Go Away from Me!
  • Riding the Dark Train Out
  • Delusion for a Dragon-Slayer
  • Daniel White for the Greater Good
  • Lonelyache
  • The Universe of Robert Blake
  • Mona at Her Window
  • G.B.K. — A Many-Flavored Bird
  • The Face of Helene Bournouw
  • The Resurgence of Miss Ankle-Strap Wedgie
  • Ernest and the Machine God
  • Battle without Banners
  • Punky & the Yale Men
  • A Path through the Darkness
  • A Prayer for No One’s Enemy
  • All the Sounds of Fear

Hardcover, 382p.
ISBN: N/A.
Original cover price: $5.95.

Contents

  • New Introduction: Having an Affair with a Troll
  • Neither Your Jenny Nor Mine
  • The Universe of Robert Blake
  • G.B.K. — A Many-Flavored Bird
  • Riding the Dark Train Out
  • Personal Reminiscence I: Valerie
  • The Resurgence of Miss Ankle-Strap Wedgie
  • Daniel White for the Greater Good
  • Blind Bird, Blind Bird, Go Away from Me!
  • What I Did on My Vacation this Summer, By Little Bobby Hirschhorn, Age 27
  • Mona at Her Windows
  • A Personal Reminiscence II: When I Was a Hired Gun
  • A Path Through the Darkness
  • Battle without Banners
  • A Prayer for No One’s Enemy
  • Punky & the Yale Men
  • I Curse the Lesson and Bless the Knowledge

Mass Market Paperback, 380p.
ISBN: 0515037982.
Original cover price: $1.75.

Contents

  • New Introduction: Having an Affair with a Troll
  • Preface: Motherhood, Apple Pie & the American Way
  • Neither Your Jenny Nor Mine
  • The Universe of Robert Blake
  • G.B.K. — A Many-Flavored Bird
  • Riding the Dark Train Out
  • Personal Reminiscence I: Valerie
  • The Resurgence of Miss Ankle-Strap Wedgie
  • Daniel White for the Greater Good
  • Blind Bird, Blind Bird, Go Away from Me!
  • What I Did on My Vacation this Summer, By Little Bobby Hirschhorn, Age 27
  • Mona at Her Windows
  • A Personal Reminiscence II: When I Was a Hired Gun
  • A Path Through the Darkness
  • Battle without Banners
  • A Prayer for No One’s Enemy
  • Punky & the Yale Men
  • I Curse the Lesson and Bless the Knowledge

Mass Market Paperback, 380p.
ISBN: 0441495478.
Original cover price: $2.95.

Contents

  • Introduction to EDGEWORKS.4: Dealing with the Lot of Y’all, Part One
  • Introduction to LOVE AIN’T NOTHING BUT SEX MISSPELLED: Having an Affair with a Troll
  • The Resurgence of Miss Ankle-Strap Wedgie
  • The Universe of Robert Blake
  • G.B.K. — A Many-Flavored Bird
  • Neither Your Jenny Nor Mine
  • Riding the Dark Train Out
  • Moonlighting (teleplay for Scene of the Crime)
  • What I Did on My Vacation this Summer, By Little Bobby Hirschhorn, Age 27
  • Mona at Her Windows
  • Blind Bird, Blind Bird, Go Away from Me!
  • Passport
  • I Curse the Lesson and Bless the Knowledge
  • Battle without Banners
  • A Path Through the Darkness
  • A Prayer for No One’s Enemy
  • Punky & the Yale Men
  • Foreword to THE BEAST THAT SHOUTED LOVE AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD by Neil Gaiman
  • Introduction to THE BEAST THAT SHOUTED LOVE AT THE HEART OF THE WORLD: The Waves in Rio
  • The Beast That Shouted Love at the Heart of the World
  • Along the Scenic Route
  • Phoenix
  • Asleep: With Still Hands
  • Santa Claus vs. S.P.I.D.E.R.
  • Try a Dull Knife
  • The Pitll Pawob Division
  • The Place with No Name
  • White on White
  • Run for the Stars
  • Are You Listening?
  • S.R.O.
  • Worlds to Kill
  • Shattered Like a Glass Goblin
  • A Boy and His Dog

Hardcover, 349p.
ISBN: 1565049632.
Original cover price: $21.99.